Do you ever worry that your child may grown up to be a serial killer? Me either.
'Voglio ammazzare un piccione!' ('I want to slaughter a pigeon!')
Cinderella Isabel: (this came after seeing the latest film, which is impossibly romantic and more sugar-coated than a ball of candy floss dipped in treacle and hundreds and thousands):
'But mummy, if I was Cinderella, I would have called Giovanni and Jonatan [apparently the toughest boys from her class] and got them to cut the sisters' heads off.'
And then sometimes I worry that she's actually far too mature for her years.
'Mummy, I'm a big girl now and so sometimes I have to do things that I don't like.' She was four at the time.
'Jack, I'm going to count to three and then I'm going to get cross.'
'Jack, do you understand?'
Contemplating the future Isabel:
'But mummy, when I have a baby will they cut my tummy open? I don't want that because lots of blood will come out.'
'No', I replied. Then, wading into even deeper waters, 'most mummies don't have to have their tummies cut open. The baby comes out of your do-dee'.
Silence. She hasn't brought the subject up since.
In the supermarket. 'Come on let's get round the frozen section and then we're done'.
Eyes light up. 'Mummy, is there a Frozen section?! Brilliant! Let it go, let it go...'
And of course Jack may only be three, but he's already coming out with some corkers.
Jack discovers there's stuff going on right under his new favourite hobby:
'Mummy, what does this do?' shortly followed by 'it's all wrinkly!'
'Mummy, do you know, my friend Cesare has a space rocket and one day he went to the moon.'
Nods hard. 'Yeah, really mummy.'
At the bar Jack:
'Do you want a brioche Jack? They've got brioche mignon with jam'
'Minions mummy? YEAH MINIONS!' Looks around. 'Where mummy?'
'Mummy, in Italian it's ambulanza but in English it's nee-naa.'
Curious Jack: (eyeing the Mr Muscle spray in the bathroom)
'Mummy, do you know that man?'