The Baby Whisperer has changed my life. I'm a The Baby Whisperer convert. Thanks to The Baby Whisperer, I knew to put Isabel down for a nap 10 minutes ago. Unfortunately, Isabel hasn't read The Baby Whisperer and so she doesn't realise that she's tired. If she had read it, she'd know that yawning, eye rubbing and a short concentration span are all clear signs of fatigue. How do babies have the energy to scream so loudly when they're exhausted? Make that 15 minutes now.
Shockingly, I recently realised that since becoming a mum I'm still exactly the same person as before. I was expecting to automatically gain heaps of maternal wisdom but instead I've gained nothing but several very badly distributed kilos. Hence The Baby Whisperer. And What To Expect The First Year and Fate La Nanna. Some people scoff at the leaning tower of baby books in my living room and tell me to just follow my maternal instinct. Unfortunately, my maternal instinct tells me not to throw my baby under a bus, but doesn't stretch to what to do if she hasn't pooed for five days. For that, I consult Dr Spock.
Luckily, it turns out I have (according to The Baby Whisperer) an Angel/Textbook baby. When other mums compete with each other over whose baby wakes most times at night, I shuffle my feet and look at the ceiling. Having a baby who sleeps 12 hours a night is absolutely the best way to make instant enemies with other mums. It's hard enough to make friends in a new city, let alone when your nearest possible allies want to scratch your eyes out because they haven't slept for more than two hours consecutively for almost six months. I have to invent all kinds of nasty stuff to be 'in' with the girls at my mother & baby group. We met this morning and fortunately Isabel has a kind of crusty face from the cold so I could fake being all worried about that in order to gain acceptance in the group. Being a mum is harder than I thought.
Although I knew it would be, I read it in a book.