The end of the world is nigh. They said so on the evening news. Well, not in so many words but nearly the whole programme yesterday was given over to that America correspondant with too many teeth, while in the studio the presenter had put her cleavage away and tied back her hair for once. We have to stop being snooty about poisonous chemicals in Chinese food because we're all going to be doing our weekly shopping at the local Chinese discount store before long, it seems... Try as I might though, I don't really understand this global economic meltdown. 4 trillion dollars lost two days ago but miraculously found again today. The New York Stock Exchange must have some amazingly big hiding places to lose that much. For some reason, nobody knows if they're going to lose the same again tomorrow, you can tell the place is run by men. I watched the TV7 Economy Special on Rai 1 the other night but I was distracted by Gianni Riotta's fake-nose-and-glasses combo. The gist seemed to be that thanks to too many stupid people over-stretching themsleves financially and too many stupid banks willing to finance them, we are all going to lose our jobs and have to live on stale bread and left over bits of parmesan rind from the back of the fridge for several years. The Chinese banks that have apparently bought our mortgages from our banks will probably repossess our houses and end up doing their weekly shopping in HyperCoop while we trundle off to Chan's China Discount Paradise.
I'm going to stick my neck out and suggest that all this might be somewhat down to people being a teeny bit too greedy. I mean, just how big does your TV have to be? Is your viewing experience enhanced by being able to count Angelina Jolie's pores? I'm the last person I know with a TV that's actually the shape of a box. Do you really need the lastest generation phone just because it allows you to calculate the distance between here and the moon? Do you have to have a car the size of a Chinook helicopter which consumes as much fuel in a week as Lichtenstein? (Quick word on this subject: as a cyclist I'd like to remind 4x4 drivers that they might want to look left and right every now and again. We will make an awful mess of your front grill if you hit us and I dread to think what it costs to have one of those beasties cleaned.) Also America, a word in your ear: I saw you in the audience there at the last Obama / McCain debate and let me ask you, do you and your children really need another microwave/deep-fat fryer/family pack of popcorn/extra-large super deluxe tub of Ben & Jerry's Cookies and Cream ice cream? I saw a lot of elasticated waist bands stretched to the limit there and it wasn't a pretty sight. I think it may have simply come down to either the economy exploding or you.
It seems that yet again, the Italians have had it right all along. Just one cornetto, not a jumbo pack of 36 bought on credit and scoffed before breakfast. Anyway, what's done is done now and I'm off to scrape some frozen lettuce from the back of the fridge to eat with my noodles.